Re-creation

Too often I live in objectivity, streaming in and out and all around the real me. At times I care too much what others think. At times I care too much about whether or not I am liked. At times I say "yes" despite a strong desire to say otherwise, and I say it because I do not want to let you down. I have reveled in being an "annual." I yearn to be perennial. I have been planted. I have been uprooted - too easily many times, simply because I hesitate, maybe I fear a complex, deep root system. Now, though, I am ready. I am only who I am. I am not who I think you need me to be. The roots of who I am are strong and will no longer be allowed to wither in the sun of other expectations. I have always been willing to go out on a limb, but I have always triple-checked the net below. There is a limb before me, and there is no net. I am meditating, clearing my head, before I step out.