Tuesday

Not Exactly Fervid

...but warmer nonetheless. Made it south this weekend and enjoyed a relaxing, memorable visit with friends. By late Saturday afternoon, the tequila was gone, the wine was flowing and a quartet of happy souls was cavorting in the pool. Freedom. It is rare that I have the opportunity to enjoy a time like that. Pretense, nonexistent. Legs whispering nonchalantly against legs. Laughter and music and water holding everything as surely as the dark, star-scaped canopy of sky.
Reality awaits at dawn.

And reality is what you make of it. I know now that the power of tomorrow is overcome only by your vulnerability to today. Well, ok. As profound as life sometimes seems to be, it really is simple. So enough of the philosphical. I can easily lose myself in good company, in a good song, in a good book. I can wander the countryside in peace and venture through forests in a misty, cloudy fog in utter awe of the beauty that surrounds me. I can lose myself in you. In the middle of the night, when I roll to your back and settle my body into yours, a perfect fit, I so long to be absorbed into you. For you to sift through my pores and veins and muscles so that, from that moment on, I feel you with every move I make, with every thought that tiptoes or thrashes wildly or bombards my neural paths. When I awake, I know it happened.

At home now, the weather is different - windy, cold. Reminders of work to be done are scattered everywhere. Let's not check the mailbox. Tomorrow will be fine, I'm sure. It's the goodbye it brings that fells me briefly. Like timber falling in a vacant forest. Tonight, press against me again. You may hear it, but close your eyes and hold me anyway or I may not wake.

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